Sex Toys: Libida.com

Toy reviews and article by Anne Semans, author of
Mother's Guide to Sex
New Good Vibrations to Sex
Woman's Guide to Sex on the Web

Sex toys offer a great way to learn about your sexual response, and to explore and experiment sexually. Plus, they introduce an element of playfulness into the bedroom. The fact that sex toys have been referred to as "marital aids" and "sexual aids" is unfortunate. The word "aid" implies that you should only use one of these toys if you need to fix something that's broken. But a woman who finds that a vibrator helps her orgasm more easily is not broken, nor is a man who discovers that a cock ring helps his erection last longer. Individual sexual response falls on a vast continuum, and it fluctuates over one's lifetime. If we measured sexual performance against one single "ideal," we'd all end up "broken" at some time in our lives, and who needs to walk around under that cloud? When you look at these gadgets more as "toys" it reminds you not to take sex too seriously-it's hard not to smile when there's a fake butterfly vibrating one's clitoris. Sex is unpredictable, exciting, elusive, messy and playful, and sex toys make a natural addition to this wonderful mix.

Here are some of the most popular toys on the market, with suggestions on how to use them. Keep in mind that retailers often rename toys, so it may be easier to try and find a toy based on its description. These toys, books and videos are available from Libida.com, a women's sexuality store with a quality selection of toys, books and videos. Privacy and discretion guaranteed.

Click on toy name to be taken to Libida.com's website and more information.

Vibrators

Vibrators are powered either by electricity or batteries, and can be used in all sorts of way to improve your experience and enjoyment of orgasms. Unless otherwise noted, these vibrators run on batteries.

Clitoral Vibrators

Hitachi Magic Wand: This large, powerful vibrator is very popular among women. It delivers strong, reliable vibrations to the clitoris (it's not designed for insertion), which appeals to women who want to orgasm with little effort, who want to shoot for multiple orgasms, who like a just-before bed-time quickie, or who need extra stimulation to climax during partner sex. Plus, its long arm can be positioned easily between partners or used comfortably alone, and it lasts for years. There are also attachments that snap on the head, which offer G Spot vibrations. The Hitachi is often recommended for women learning how to orgasm (see Betty Dodson's Selfloving video). Note: If you like your vibrators small, quiet, gentle, and portable (the Hitachi requires a wall socket), this probably isn't the vibrator for you.

Wahl Personal Massager: This nearly silent, discreet vibrator offers super-focused, strong vibrations to the clitoris. This toy looks nothing like a traditional phallic toy, with a handle much like that on a hair dryer, and a small vibrating tip that accommodates a variety of attachments. This model makes a great gift for vibrator novices, who might be put off by more explicit-looking toys. It's also a plug-in, but that means the batteries won't die at the crucial moment!

Natural Contours: If you'd like to keep your sex life separate from kids, roommates or snoopy airport security, try the Natural Contours -- designed by a woman, for women. Innocuously sleek and aerodynamic, they look more like cell phones or beepers, but they are top-of-the line, quiet vibrators.

Fukuoku 9000: Slide the tiny, cordless Fukuoku right onto your fingertip and incorporate vibration into partner sex or masturbation as naturally and easily as you would touch yourself. Because the Fukuoku runs on powerful watch batteries, the soft vinyl tip packs a quiet-but-mighty buzz. If you've ever had your hand cramp up during masturbation, this toy will give you some staying power.

Athena Pocket Rocket: A vibrator small enough to fit in your pocket, and strong enough for reliable orgasms. The Pocket Rocket is discreet-- no one recognizes this as a sex toy, so you can carry it with you everywhere. Fans of this toy give them as gifts to vibrator novices.

Insertable Vibes

These vibrators are great when you want vaginal and/or G-spot stimulation. Some also have offer clitoral stimulation, so you can have the best of both worlds.

Rabbit Pearl: One of the sexiest looking vibrators on the market, the Rabbit Pearl is designed to stimulate many pleasure points at once. The soft pink shaft swivels to stroke every surface during penetration, the rotating pearls stimulate the sensitive first few inches of the vaginal opening, and all the while soft bunny ears flicker vigorously against the clitoris. Individual controls allow you to manipulate the shaft rotation and the intensity of the vibration separately. A classic, well-made vibe, with a large and faithful fan club.

Classic Vibe: When you say 'vibrator' to most people, the phallic-shaped Classic invariably comes to mind. Many women discovered their first orgasms at the hands of this toy; it makes a good starter toy if you're experimenting with vibration (you can use it internally or externally) and want something versatile and inexpensive. It's a moderately strong vibrator because the plastic casing transmits the vibrations better than rubber or vinyl toys.

Wearable Vibes

Lush Bunny: An amazingly versatile toy. A stretchy cock ring sports a small vibrating rabbit off one side. The ring slips over a man's penis with the bunny facing up, so that during intercourse, the vibrator bumps up against the woman's clit. Experiment with rhythm and technique to find out what works best-you might discover that having your partner stay deep inside your vagina affords you the most direct stimulation, or you may like the stop-and-start teasing of more vigorous thrusting. Men interested in spicing up their solo play can strap on the ring with the bunny facing down and inward, so it vibrates the testicles.

Remote Butterfly: Wear this toy-a G-string with a vibrating butterfly positioned over your clit-and then hand the controls over to a partner--then have fun with anticipation and release. If you want to wear it during partner sex, simply move the strap to one side. This toy gives you a great opportunity to indulge your exhibitionist side-wear it under your clothes if you go out to dinner or a night on the town.

G-Spot Toys

Trying to stimulate your G spot with your fingers can get awkward. Located on the upper wall of your vagina, about an inch in from the opening, G spot exploration is a lot easier with help from a toy. G Spot toys are also the ideal shape for prostate stimulation.

Classic G Vibrator: The Classic G features a soft vinyl exterior, strong vibrations, a curve to stroke the G-spot and a textured base to caress your clit. Some women prefer the comfort of this vinyl material in their G spot play, but other women find that firmer toys (like Squirt dildo below) work better.

Squirt: This dildo (it does not vibrate) curves to reach the G-spot and prostate, and is a good choice for those who find the Classic G vibrator a bit too soft. Relatively short and stocky (6'1/2" long by 1 1/2" wide), and made out of the long-lasting material, silicone.

Dildos

Dildos provide a feeling of fullness when used vaginally or anally, and typically don't vibrate (see the vibrator section, for insertable vibrators).

Mistress: This is one of many excellent dildos from a company called Vixen Creations, a woman-owned dildo-manufacturer. All their toys are made of silicone, which is easy-to-clean, firm, and warms to body temperature. Long and slim (7" long by 1 1/4" wide), this is a good choice if you want a dildo both for solo play and to use in a harness. Typically, the harness will rob you of about 1/2" on the dildo length (covered by the ring and space between bodies), but the Mistress will still give you deep penetration. If you find that long dildos or penises bump your cervix (you'll know, it hurts), go for a shorter model.

The Tool: The Tool's perfect if you'd like to try a dildo, but aren't sure you want to invest a lot of money or time into the process. This is an average-sized dildo (7" long by 1 3/8" wide) made of firm smooth silicone. Plus, with its purple color and smooth surface, it looks absolutely nothing like traditional phallic toys, a good option for people who find ultra-realistic dildos a little unnerving.

Ultra Realistic Dildo: Just as some folks would rather have a dildo that bears no resemblance to a penis, others want one that looks and feels as much like the real thing as possible. The Ultra-Realistic Dildo fills that bill, since it's made of this super-soft rubber, which is the closest thing to real skin invented by the adult industry. The model also has a suction cup base, which allows you to stabilize the toy to any smooth surface. Average-sized (6" long by 1 1/2" wide).

Vibrating Mistress: Slip the included vibrating egg into the hollowed-out shaft of the Vibrating Mistress and transform this semi-realistic silicone dildo into a sex toy built for two. You can enjoy the Vibrating Mistress's vibrating shaft all by yourself, but strapping it into a harness for partner penetration allows you both to savor the sensation as vibrations surge between you.

Nexus: Finally -- a double dildo designed with intelligence and crafted with style! The Nexus is a pleasure to wield by hand, but reaches its full potential worn in a harness. Each end is individually molded: A short, comfortably curved dildo nestles inside the harness wearer, while the longer dildo extends forward in an elegant arc that makes penetrating a partner -- vaginally or anally -- a breeze.

Terra Firma Harness: Dildo harnesses enable women to strap on dildos in order to be the fucker rather than the fuckee. The Terra Firma is considered by many to be the most well-designed model as it's fully adjustable, comfortable, and secure. Two waist straps and two leg straps each snap directly onto the dildo ring, allowing you to individualize the dildo fit. It has adjustable, stay-snug D-rings, and will fit any dildo with a flared base and a diameter of 1 3/4" or smaller. The harness fits up to 56" hips, and comes in leather or fabric.

Lubricants

Use lubricants to add slipperiness to penetration or solo play, with or without sex toys. There are lots of great lubes on the market; just look for those that are water-based since they wash out of the body easily and are safe to use with latex condoms.

Astroglide: Lubricants come and go, but Astroglide reigns supreme as a consumer favorite. A little goes a long way, and the lube can be reactivated when it starts to dry by applying water. Odorless and taste-free.

Liquid Silk: As the name suggests, popular Liquid Silk goes on smooth and sets the stage for a slippery, sexy encounter. The absence of glycerin gives this lube a welcome creamy texture.

Anal Toys

Many folks have discovered the erotic pleasures of anal play. Whether you want to tease the sensitive nerve endings around the anus or stimulate the prostate, just remember these three tips: relax, use lubricant, and if inserting, use toys with a flared base.

Buddy: Lots of people like to "wear" an anal toy in place, so this type of toy is called a "plug," you push it inside the rectum and leave it there, rather than moving it in and out. This gives a feeling of fullness and stimulates the prostate. Plugs like this one usually have a bulge above the base, which helps keep them securely inside. This toy is popular as with first-timers because of its modest size, plus it's made of silicone, which is pliable, warms quickly, and is very easy to clean.

Silk: This toy looks more like a slim dildo than an anal plug-there is no bulge in the center-but it's the right toy if you want something that will move in and out. The finger-width makes it a great size for newcomers to anal play, it's easy to clean (silicone again), and it can double as a small dildo. If you want to experiment with larger objects anally, try something from the dildo section.

Bendy Beads: These silicone beads have been popular anal toys for eons. You insert the beads and then pull them out one at a time; a hit with folks who like the feel of their anus opening and closing around each bead as it goes in and out.

Twist: This toy might conjur up images of alien exploration, but it's definitely worth the ride if you like anal play. While the vibrating finger-length tendril buzzes inside your rectum, the base vibrates pleasantly against the anus.

Just for Men

Most of the toys mentioned already can also be used by men, but there are some designed just with guys in mind.

Leather Cock Ring: A cock ring fits around the base of the penis and the scrotum, restricting blood flow out of the penis, which can be very pleasurable. Some men find that this prolongs their erections or make them firmer. Cock rings are very sexy on men, and this adjustable and easy-to-remove leather strap is a winner.

Men's Cream: Unlike most water-based lubes, Men's Cream moisturizes, but never gets sticky. It glides on smooth, stays slick as long as you please, and wipes off with ease. Designed purely and simply to maximize the pleasure of self-love, this petroleum-based cream will destroy latex and isn't intended for intercourse.

Buzz Glove: Intended to recreate the experience of a penis in a vagina, sleeves are simply tubes into which a penis is inserted. Squirt a bit of lube inside to make the sleeve more comfortable, particularly if you'll be thrusting in and out of it. This one gives you the option of using the sleeve alone, or with vibration (included) to one end.

Fantasy & Sensuals

These toys are designed to help you relax, release inhibitions, and get your imagination going.

Lover's Chocolate Body Paint: Unlike most medicinal tasting flavored gels, this finger paint is made of pure Belgian chocolate. It spreads on kind of thick, but that just leaves more to lick off! Or, you can warm it a little and it'll spread better.