While these are extremely significant aspects of female sexuality, they are subjects that I have been slow to address directly, because I'm not a doctor and cannot address their medical implications, and the non-medical aspects are adequately addressed on other websites. With this in mind, this article will not address STD's and Birth Control directly, rather help women and their partners remove or decrease the risks associated with partnered sex, thus avoiding conception and disease. And while I'm probably unable to address them personally, I also desire to acknowledge the presence of the personal and social risks associated with female sexuality. Ultimately, this article intends to remove the risks associated with partnered sex rather than requiring individuals to address those risks, before or after the fact.

If you are seeking information about Birth Control or Sexually Transmitted Diseases, there are links to websites that address these subjects at the bottom of this page.

Jump to Real Risks: Pregnancy
Jump to Real Risks: STDs
Jump to Combined Risk
Jump to The Fox Guards the Henhouse
Jump to It Just Happened
Jump to Must Sex Equal Sex?
Jump to Pregnancy Rates for Different Birth Control Methods
Jump to Sex With Decreased Risk of Pregnancy

Real Risks: Pregnancy

"In 2006, the teen birth rate increased 3%, to 41.9 births per 1,000 women ages 15-19." USA Today 1/7/2009

Any girl or woman who has experienced her first menstrual period should look at the image on the right and say to herself, "If a five-year-old girl can become pregnant, so can I." While Lina Medina certainly represents a very atypical experience, Wikipedia lists 24 cases of motherhood occurring at the age of 10 or less. Contrary to common public perception and expectation, human reproduction occurs quite easily and extremely frequently, at a rate of 4 births every second. (137 million births each year/31.6 million seconds in a year)

The data presented in the following table indicates 5.1% (1 out of 20) teenage girls under the age of 18 become pregnant each year in the U.S.. While the pregnancy rate varies from region to region and from racial group to racial group, on average one girl out of every two high school classrooms becomes pregnant each year. The reason why we don't see this many obviously pregnant school-age girls is, 43% (nearly half) of these pregnancies don't result in live births, as a result of abortion or miscarriage. Since every girl of reproductive age isn't engaging in partnered sex with a boy, the risk of pregnancy is greater for those who are.

It is estimated that if 100 women engage in unprotected sexual intercourse for one year, by the end of that year 85 of them will be pregnant. What the individual woman doesn't know is, whether she will become pregnant the first or last time she engages in unprotected sex during that 12 month period. Even when a couple uses birth control, there is still a risk of pregnancy.

 

U.S. Teen Pregnancy Rates in 2002
Age	Pregnancy Rate Per 1,000	Percentage %	Couples out of 100	Total U.S. Pregnancies
14 and under	8.6	0.86	0.9	17,340
15 to 17	42.3	4.23	4.2	252,170
18 to 19	125.6	12.6	12.6	494,650
15 to 19	75.4	7.54	7.5	746,820
U.S. Teenage Pregnancy Statistics National and State Trends

 

The following table presents information about teenage birth rates, which exclude abortions and miscarriages. Approximately 42-58% of teenage pregnancies don't reach full term, depending on the age group. (Since some of the statistics presented in these two tables are based on estimations, it introduces the probability for some degree of error.)

U.S. Teen Birth Rates for 2006
Age	Birth Rate Per 1,000	Percentage %	Couples out of 100
10 to 14	0.6	0.06	Less than 1 out of 1,000
15 to 17	22	2.2	2.2
18 to 19	73	7.3	7.3
15 to 19	41.9	4.2	4.2
Births: Final Data for 2006

 

Even though the percentage of teenage girls giving birth is relatively small, when you consider the entire population of the U.S., the resulting number of births aren't so small.

Number of U.S. Teens Who Gave Birth During 2006
Mother's Age	Total Births
14 and under	6,396
15	18,403
16	43,108
17	77,432
18	123,494
19	172,999
Births: Demographics of Mother 2006

 

As the following chart illustrates, the number of live births provides only part of the picture, as young teens are more likely to end their pregnancy. "Abortion ratios were highest for adolescents aged <15 years (764 per 1,000 live births)..." This means the total number of pregnancies for teens aged 14 and under was around 11,282 in 2006. Source

 

"Accidents" are extremely common, and have a potential negative consequence for teens.

"In 2006, a total of 435,427 infants were born to mothers aged 15–19 years, a birth rate of 41.9 live births per 1,000 women in this age group. More than 80% of these births were unintended, meaning they occurred sooner than desired or were not wanted at any time. Although pregnancy and birth rates among girls aged 15–19 years have declined 34% since 1991, birth rates increased for the first time in 2006 (from 40.5 per 1,000 women in this age group in 2005 to 41.9 in 2006). It is too early to tell whether this increase is a trend or a one-time fluctuation in teen birth rates." CDC

"When teens give birth, their future prospects and those of their children decline. Teen mothers are less likely to complete high school and more likely to live in poverty than other teens. Pregnant teens aged 15–19 years are less likely to receive prenatal care and gain appropriate weight and more likely to smoke than pregnant women aged 20 years or older.  These factors are also associated with poor birth outcomes." CDC

If nothing else, the presence of 6,757,540,531 (6.7 billion) people on this planet, as of 2/09, should provide proof that pregnancies don't occur by chance or accident, but by design. Male and female sexual desire don't merely indicate, "Lets have sex," rather "Lets make a baby."

Real Risks: STDs

"Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) remain a major public health challenge in the United States." CDC

"Approximately 18.9 million new cases of STD occurred in 2000, of which 9.1 million (48%) were among persons aged 15-24. Three STDs (human papillomavirus, trichomoniasis and chlamydia) accounted for 88% of all new cases of STD among 15-24-year-olds. " [1]

Given that 15-24 year olds represent 14.2 percent of the U.S. population, there are around 43.2 million of you. Based on the above quote, 9.1 million or 21 percent (1 out of 5) will contract an STD this year, though only a fraction of you will actually be diagnosed. That is around 3 to 4 students in every high-school-sized classroom. This means, if you are engaging in partnered sex, that results in the exchange of body fluids, you have a significant chance of acquiring an STD this year. These statistics also indicate that a sizeable percentage of young adults already have an STD and are spreading it to their partner(s); STDs don't form out of thin air, you acquire them from another person.

 

 

Teenage girls and women experience greater risk than do teenage boys and men when it comes to the potential consequences of partnered sex, when there is the transfer of body fluids.

"In addition to the burden on youth, women are also severely affected. Biological factors place women at greater risk than men for the severe health consequences of STDs. The two most commonly reported infectious disease in the America — chlamydia and gonorrhea — pose a particular risk to health of women, as both can result in infertility if left untreated. Together these diseases were reported in almost 1.5 million Americans in 2007, but the majority of cases continue to go undiagnosed. " CDC

 

Chlamydia Rates Per 100 Individuals
Year	Age Group	Total	Male	Female
2007	10–14	0.07	0.012	0.12
	15–19	1.8	0.6	3.0
	20–24	1.9	0.9	2.9
	25–29	0.8	0.5	1.2
	30–34	0.4	0.2	0.5
	35–39	0.2	0.1	0.2
	40–44	0.07	0.07	0.08
	45–54	0.03	0.03	0.03
	55–64	0.009	0.01	0.008
	65+	0.002	0.003	0.002
	TOTAL	0.4	0.2	0.5
Based on CDC Data

Based on the data presented in the table shown above, 1 out of 33 young women aged 15 to 24 will be diagnosed with chlamydia this year, and 1 out of 100 young men aged 20 to 24 will also be diagnosed with chlamydia. This means 1 out of 33 young women are potentially at risk for diseases like pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). Please note that these statistics apply to only this one STD, and the overall risk is much greater when all STDs are taken into consideration.

Note: Only recently, we learned that kissing that results in the transfer of saliva may spread HPV, to the mouth and throat, which can result in a rare form of throat cancer. [ABC News Article and Video]

Combined Risk

The unfortunate truth is, young couples that "exchange body fluids" during partnered sex have a 1 in 5 chance of spreading an STD. Those under the age of 18 have a 1 in 20 chance of becoming pregnant, and those aged 18 and 19, a 1 in 14 chance of pregnancy. Since all persons within these age groups aren't exchanging body fluids, it means the chances of acquiring an STD or becoming pregnant are greater for those who are. Those aren't very good odds are they? I'm not using scare tactics, simply reporting the truth, as unpleasant as it may be.

If you are exchanging body fluids then you are "sexually active," even if technically you are a "virgin" or "inexperienced." Having or having had one sexual partner means you are "sexually experienced."

If young couples desire to avoid pregnancy and STDs these truths don't rule out their participating in sexual activities together, but it is enormously beneficial if they view "sex" as more than just penile/vaginal intercourse. The details are presented below.

Jump to Pregnancy Rates for Different Birth Control Methods.
Jump to Sex With Decreased Risk of Pregnancy.

The Fox Guards the Henhouse

Despite what our parents and grandparents, and quite possibly our great and great-great grandparents, may imply or tell us, they probably weren't as virtuous as they want us to believe. While they may not talk about it openly, there is a good chance they engaged in premarital sex, and as a result conceived children outside of marriage. Premarital sex and all its implications are perhaps the best, or is it the worst, kept secret in U.S. history.

I would never do that, but I did:

Historically speaking, women have been viewed as less sexual than men, if not asexual, and as a result were tasked with enforcing social sexual morality, or society felt it necessary to protect women from sexual men, which implies men in general. Women and their families were expected to prevent sex outside of marriage, and if nothing else, use the promise of sex to promote marriage. There is one major problem with that practice, women are equally as sexual as men, and are driven to reproduce equally as much as men.

In the past, women simply weren't allowed to acknowledge their sex drive, but this doesn't mean it didn't and doesn't influence their actions. While parents were and are fearful of their adolescent or unmarried daughter "being impregnated," they probably didn't and don't want to acknowledge the probability of her "volunteering to become pregnant," i.e. participating in partnered sex on a more than willing basis.

If women became or become pregnant outside of marriage, it is usually seen as a "morality" rather than "biological" concern. It would appear social and religious morality have not kept pace with our scientific understanding of the human body, specifically, the influence hormones have on the actions of the mind and body. Our genetics are responsible for the presence of the hormones, and our physical environment at most influences when, not if, they play a role in our actions. We still believe, and perhaps want to believe, on a certain level that spirits enter our body and cause us to act badly or irresponsibly. The ultimate reality is, the use of social morality to control personal actions probably isn't as effective as many believe, especially as it applies to sex.

Unwed Motherhood:

"National here means England and Wales"
"Illegitimate Births as a percentage of all births." Source

The graph presented above is for England and Wales, but given the illegitimacy rate for the U.S. was 3.9 percent in 1950, 5.3 percent in 1960, and 10.7 percent in 1970 [2], it likely approximates the illegitimacy rate for the U.S. during the same time period. While 4 percent is a small percentage, it still implies 1 out 25 births were out of wedlock, and 10 percent implies 1 out of 10 births were out of wedlock. By 2007, 40 percent (2 out 5) births occurred outside of marriage in the U.S. Source

During WWI and WWII women appear to have been more willing to allow sex outside of marriage, and/or since their partner was serving in the military, or deceased, they weren't available for a shotgun wedding, which may have concealed some of the prior and subsequent premarital sex. The increase in births outside of marriage beginning in the 1960s can be attributed to changing social attitudes during the sexual revolution. Birth records from early U.S. history also provide evidence that some, if not many, women were pregnant at the time of their wedding, as their first child was born prior to nine months after their wedding. [4]

Premarital Sex:

"Data from the 2002 survey indicate that by age 20, 77% of respondents had had sex, 75% had had premarital sex, and 12% had married; by age 44, 95% of respondents (94% of women, and 96% of men, and 97% of those who had ever had sex) had had premarital sex. Even among those who abstained until at least age 20, 81% had had premarital sex by age 44. Among cohorts of women turning 15 between 1964 and 1993, at least 91% had had premarital sex by age 30. Among those turning 15 between 1954 and 1963, 82% had had premarital sex by age 30, and 88% had done so by age 44." Source

The graph shown below indicates that between 1964 and 2003 the frequency and commencement of premarital sex was pretty consistent, and while premarital sex was less common and delayed between 1954 - 1963 (the lowest dashed line), it ultimately occurred at a much higher frequency than many of us have been lead to believe.

Source

During his 1948 and 1953 studies, Alfred Kinsey found that premarital sex wasn't uncommon amongst his survey participants. Premarital sex was reported by 67-98% of men, depending on their socioeconomic level, and 50% of women. Source The difference in the male and female premarital sex rates can be partly explained by the fact that "among unmarried males, sex with a prostitute was about 10% of the total premarital intercourse." Even so, there is the implication that some women who engaged in premarital sex had more than one sexual partner, that some women weren't willing to admit to premarital sex or couldn't bring themselves to admit that what they had done was sexual in nature, or that men lie about their sexual experience. I would tend to vote for all of the above.

Even during colonial times in the U.S. there may have been more premarital sex than one expects.

"In the eighteenth century [1700s], and probably earlier, courting couples in New England and the middle colonies had the opportunity for physical intimacy with parental approval through the custom of bundling. This practice, which had antecedents among Welsh, Dutch, and German peasants, allowed a couple to spend the night together in bed as long as they remained fully clothed or, in some cases, kept a "bundling board" between them. Bundling served the needs of suitors who traveled long distances and called in small houses that offered neither privacy nor much heat. Parents and youths shared the expectation that sexual intercourse would not take place, but it did, and pregnancy resulted, the couple would certainly marry." Intimate Matters: A History of Sexuality in America 1988 Pg. 22

See also [4]

Sexual Motives:

Have women been having sex against their will, which is the common social presumption, or have they merely found socially accepted reasons that justified their having sex? In the past, the promise of marriage was sometimes enough to persuade a woman to permit premarital sex [3]. As indicated above, periods of war have, perhaps always, resulted in women side-stepping social morality, and I believe society overlooks this, as if members of your community are dying in mass, social morality takes second stage to the need to replace them, for the benefit of the community.

Today, the top four primary reasons women give for participating in vaginal intercourse for the first time are love (17%), sexual curiosity (10%), intense sexual desire or arousal (7%), and simply being ready (7%). Only 4 percent cite marriage/honeymoon as their primary reason. A total of seven percent did so because of their partner's demands (4%), wishes (1%), or happiness (1%), or peer pressure and expectation (1%). It is important to note that almost half of the women, 48%, had other primary motives, some sexual, some not. Source

Some would argue "love" has a strong sexual component, so there is the possibility for the top four reasons to have a sexual component, that women are acting on sexual feelings, desires, and experiences, rather than purely emotional or logical reasons, or partner, peer, and social pressures. "Love" may serve as a socially acceptable reason for women to act on physical sexual desire. I'm not denying their individual experience of love, only presenting the possibility for the experience of love to include sexual attraction and desire, that "love" doesn't automatically preclude sex and sexual desire. Many see "true love" as "pure" and devoid of sex, and as a result a justifiable reason to have sex; the pure justifies the impure, at least based on traditional morality and thinking.

In a survey on this website, 74% of women indicate they first experienced sexual desire prior to the age of 15, and 51% experienced sexual desire prior to or at the same time as their first menstrual period; 64% of these women indicate they experienced their first menstrual period prior to the age of 13. In a second survey, 75% of women were consciously aware of their sexual desire by age 15. In a third survey, 69% of women say sexual desire or attraction played a part in their initial attraction to their current partner, with 37% saying it played a "significant" part. Is it safe to conclude from these survey results that teenage girls and women are motivated by sexual desire, and they are aware of this influence on their actions at a relatively young age?

Biology's Role:

Age at Menarche and First Intercourse, & Pregnancy Rate
Age	Menarche %	1st Intercourse %	Pregnancy %	Graph
9	4	1 *
10	8	2 *
11	22	2
12	27	2	**
13	19	3	**
14	8	8	**
15	2	13	4
16	1	10	4
17	0	10	4
18		15	13
19		10	13
20		3	17
21		3	17

* Survey indicates 4% of participants experienced vaginal intercourse at the age 10 or less.
** The study indicates the "pregnancy rate" is 8.6 per 1,000 girls under the age of 15, or 0.86 out of 100. There were an estimated 17,340 pregnancies amongst a population of 2 million girls under the age of 15. CDC data for girls age 10 to 14 indicates a "birth rate" of 0.6 per 1,000 girls, or 0.06 per 100. CDC reports 6,396 births for mothers under the age of 15, in 2006.

The table shown above combines data from different sources and doesn't have a high degree of precision, but even so we can see that relatively soon after experiencing their first menstrual period girls begin engaging in sexual intercourse, and as a result of their fertility begin to become pregnant. It is reported that on average girls become fertile one year after their first menstrual period, which means in the absence of external forces, on average they would likely experience their first pregnancy at 13 or 14 years of age; certainly a scary and detrimental prospect. Since the onset of sex and pregnancy are delayed, and spread over a greater period of time than the onset of menstruation, this likely indicates society's influence on sex and reproduction; much to its benefit.

Given that 80% of pregnancies are unplanned, this likely means biology has greater influence on the end result than social and personal expectation. If it was a personal issue, it seems more likely the percentage of unplanned pregnancies wouldn't be nearly so high. The high percentage of unplanned pregnancies perhaps reflects changes within society, namely the delay of marriage, and more recently, the decreased role of marriage within our society. We also value reproduction less than we once did, as indicated by our declining birth rate. While society has changed, human reproduction hasn't, or at least to a lesser degree. Mainly because "sex" hasn't changed even though society has, and one may question if it can.

The Role of Marriage & Menarche:

A factor that would tend to influence the rate of premarital sex, and as a result the number of unwed mothers, is the length of time between menarche and marriage. If one acknowledges the influence of sexual desire on a couple's behavior, the greater the time between menarche and marriage, the greater the probability for premarital sex and unwed pregnancy.

"If one looks at US statistics over the past 100 years for example, one sees that men had an average age at marriage of 25.9 years in 1900. Women in 1900 had an average age at marriage of 22 years. "

"Even Jane Austen, writing in the early 19th century [1811-1816] had heroines married at the earliest age of 17 or 18. In Laura Ingalls Wilder’s books, which are semi- autobiographical, her father would not allow her to marry until she was 18 [she married in 1885]."

"Currently the average age at marriage in the US is 26.8 years for men, and 25.1 years for women." Source

Laura Ingalls Wilder’s experience suggests she desired to marry prior to age 18, and in fact she began dating her future husband at the age of 15, the same age at which she began working as a teacher.

"When Laura was just 15, and Almanzo was 25, he began courting her, driving her back and forth between De Smet and a new settlement 12 miles (19 km) outside town where she was teaching school." Source

The average age at which a young woman's first menstrual period occurs has decreased over the past 200 years, from age 17 in 1800, to 14 in 1900, to 12.5 to 12.8 in 1950 and today. It is possible that prior to the 1800s young women were marrying soon after menarche, thus removing the need to contend with their sex drive outside of marriage, at least for an extended period of time. In 1900 the average woman in the U.S. would have been menstruating for 8 years prior to marriage, and perhaps experiencing an active sex drive for the same length of time. Today, that time span has increased to 13 years for the "average" woman, and perhaps longer for those who experience puberty and marriage at the lower and/or upper ends of the respective bell curves.

The Fox Guards the Henhouse:

How long does a society expect young women to be immune to or live in denial of their sexual feelings, their biological desire, and one might argue, the necessity of reproducing? As a result of a biological and instinctive desire to reproduce, to have sex, teenage girls and adult women probably aren't any better at enforcing personal or social sexual morality than men, especially when men weren't and aren't equality responsible for enforcing the same morality. Abstinence-only sex education or socially prescribed virginity doesn't work any better today than it did in the past, because we are only human, and like every other species seeking to survive, are driven to reproduce, and even social morality hasn't been able to change that reality, like it or not.

Holding young men AND women responsible for regulating their own sexuality is equivalent to having a fox guard the henhouse, but as the information presented above points out, having society regulate their sexuality hasn't been as effective as society would like to claim, especially as the dynamics of our society continue to change over time. While we may not be able to regulate sexual desire, perhaps we can help couples express it in ways that don't put them at risk for unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. While not a totally new theme, based on the letters I receive, women and couples are looking for alternatives to traditional reproductive sex, perhaps as a result of perceived social necessity. Letter 1 Letter 2 Letter 3 Letter 4

Changing Society:

In the not too distant past, there was much less pressure on young women to do well in school and attend college, as they were expected to marry soon after high school and begin raising a family; this still remains true within some communities. A woman's default occupation was "asexual mother," as she wasn't permitted to have a sex drive that could possibly influence her actions, even within marriage. As shown above, even this timeline and morality were insufficient to eliminate premarital sex and unwed pregnancies, not to mention extramarital sex. Now that young women are expected to be sexual yet virtuous (a sexual virgin if you will), and go to college, we see the end result, an increased rate of unwed pregnancies, and because of a greater number of sexual partners, increased rates of STD transmission.

In non-industrialized societies, it is my understanding that families try to "marry off" their daughters as soon as possible, before their daughter's children become a burden on the family, from an economic perspective. Sometimes preadolescent girls are placed within an arranged marriage prior to puberty, meaning they are partnered long before their sex drive can influence their decisions and behavior, at least in theory. In other societies a girl's clitoris is cut off and her vagina sewn shut in order control her reproduction, and as a result her sexuality. The girl's parents want her marriage to have an economic benefit for them, rather than being a matter of romance, love, or sexual attraction, and have a potential negative economic impact on the extended family.

While we may not approve of these practices in modern Western society, they likely indicate the respective societies acknowledged the potential implications of sexual desire within a young woman's life. Even within Western society, social pressure to marry was intended to accomplish the same thing, controlled reproduction, necessitating controlled sexuality. Societies always develop morality that serves to its benefit, even if later on we don't approve of the means, even if it isn't always successful over time. Individuals and peer groups tend to change much faster than society as a whole, which explains the difference in personal behavior and social morality.

The Necessity of Change:

The challenge we face today is, learning whether sexual desire must always result in "reproductive sex," or if "recreational sex" will suffice to fulfill our sexual desires. Can we engage in fulfilling "sex" without exchanging body fluids and engaging in penile/vaginal intercourse? Our changing world will likely require this change, whether we like it or not, because of a greater need for higher education, global overpopulation, and increasing threat from evolving diseases. As is the case with HIV in Africa, if a society doesn't adapt to a changing world, it faces extinction.

The Present and Possible Future:

Something that has changed recently in U.S. society is, society's willingness to accept a sexual motive in the actions of women, perhaps begrudgingly, as women have exerted greater autonomy and control over their lives. Perhaps to the point of saying men are less essential to their life than society would like. From a socioeconomic perspective, a two income household is better than a single income household, but perhaps marriage and men are no longer essential to that equation.

Today, with the advent of sperm banks, artificial insemination, and availability of abortion, men have a less active and controlling role in human reproduction than they once did. Perhaps to the great displeasure of men, women are no longer required to have sex with them to reproduce, even if they are heterosexual.

"Nadya Suleman, who has made headlines in the past few weeks after giving birth to octuplets in southern California, says it has been more than eight years since she last had sex – despite having 14 kids under the age of 7."

Because women share an unequal burden when it comes to partnered sex, one might argue that if men don't change their expectations and habits to meet the needs of modern women, they may find women less available for sex, especially if and when the negative social stigmatism associated with being a "single woman" diminishes. Of course, a woman's desire to reproduce may work to the benefit of men, but still, I sense some women are finding masturbation fulfills their sexual need, and while masturbation may not fulfill their need for emotional and physical intimacy, a pet may.

"It Just Happened"

From the book: Dilemmas of Desire: Teenage Girls Talk About Sexuality. By Deborah L. Tolman. Copyright 2002.

"I met Inez, a seventeen-year-old Latina junior in a public high school...One of the first stories she chooses to tell me is about the first time she had sexual intercourse, with a boy with whom she was "in love":"

"The first time I ever had sex, it was something that I least expected it. I didn't actually go to his house and expect something to happen, because it, he was kissing me, and felt like I wasn't there, it was like my body just went limp. It was like, I had went out with him for a year, and I was like, I was like wow, and um, he was just kissing me, and I was like, and all of a sudden like, just, like my body just went limp, and then everything just happened. To me, I feel like I didn't notice anything."

"And so another way to think about Inez's story is as a condoned version: The main theme, that sex "just happened," is an explanation girls frequently offer for how they come to have sex. Having sex "just happen" is one of the few acceptable ways available to adolescent girls for making sense of and describing their sexual experiences...In a world where "good," nice, and normal girls do not have sexual feelings of their own, it is one of the few decent stories that a girl can tell. That is, "it just happened" is a story about desire (Plummer, 1995)."

In a survey on this website, five percent of women, 1 out of 20, report their first experience of sexual intercourse "just happened," meaning Inez is not alone in her experience. In the same survey, seven percent of women acknowledged intense sexual desire or arousal was their primary motive for engaging in sexual intercourse for the first time; a "vaginal ache" was responsible for an additional 2 percent of first experiences. Sexual desire may then account for more than 1 out of 10 first experiences. If "love" has a strong sexual component, and sex "just happens" because of sexual desire, then sexual desire may account for nearly 1 out of 3 (31%) of all first experiences. If sexual desire has the potential to override logic and good intentions for many or all young women, this creates a significant potential for unplanned and unprotected sex, and all the undesired consequences.

The abortion rates presented above potentially indicate sexual intercourse may "just happen" to women of all ages, not just adolescents. When the abortion rate is at its lowest levels, this may merely indicate when unplanned pregnancies are more easily accommodated by the individual and society, rather than being the result of increased rates of successful utilization of birth control and "responsible" behavior. After all, if we become more responsible and more proficient with the use of birth control as we become older, shouldn't the abortion rate steadily decline with increasing age? Yes birth control fails, but in the "moment," is often quickly forgotten, or the short term benefits appear to outweigh the potential risks, just this once. Are all teenage girls and adult women potentially irresponsible, uneducated about the risks, or is there an unrecognized force that results in sex and pregnancy "just happening?" Sexual desire is certainly an unacknowledged force in teenage girls and women that may contribute to these occurrences.

Men I believe, readily admit they are often lead around by their penis, and women often contest to this fact. Women on the other hand are expected to be above such primal and animalistic urges, and prevent sex from just happening. The reality of it is, as I mention in the discussion forum, women may be led around by their clitoris, which may result in them permitting things to just happen.

Note: It is perhaps more accurate to say they are led around by their vagina, as a result of a vaginal ache, a desire to be filled. While their sexual arousal motivates them to seek out a partner, a vaginal ache potentially causes them to seek out an erect penis to fulfill "the need." In a survey on this website, 72% of women report experiencing a vaginal ache, and 86% are aware of a change in their clitoris during sexual arousal, with 53% saying their clitoris throbs or pulses.

The question is, or is it actually an answer, does sexual desire potentially override logic and good intentions, and diminish apparent risk for men AND women? In the end, can we trust a horny heterosexual couple to avoid pregnancy at all cost? I would say the evidence indicates otherwise, even for "good" men and women, those who outside the influence of sexual desire are devout virgins. I propose, at least in intellectual theory, men and women should be buying one of the following, because "we" really can't be trusted.

While this proposed solution is meant to be somewhat amusing, it is also intended to demonstrate the power sexual desire has over all of us, that perhaps only steel may provide a meaningful way of preventing sexual intercourse, if that is our intent. It also demonstrates the risk young couples, and not so young couples, must acknowledge when deciding to hang-out or make-out, especially in private. Our motives may not be as virtuous as we may want to believe, and remembering back to my own youth, I am not sure I ever had a virtuous thought, when it came to women and sex. Do teenage girls truly not understand why teenage boys are so eager to get them alone, do hormones alter the mental perceptions of adolescent girls, or are the girls simply equally motivated to seek out privacy, i.e. sex? Is, "I didn't know," merely a socially accepted, if not expected, cover story for girls acting on their own sexual desires?

Teens and young adults should perhaps be begging mom, dad, and other older adults to act as chaperones, rather than seeking out privacy, or relying on their equally sexually intoxicated peers to reinforce good judgment. One might argue horny teens, which is pretty much all teens, shouldn't be making this decision for themselves, as hormones influence all their decisions. I'm not suggesting teens are irresponsible, only highly motivated to reproduce, and they and society are often only living in denial of that reality. I don't mean to suggest that sexual intercourse is inevitable and unavoidable, just that, wow, sexual desire is extremely powerful.

As the experience I linked to above points out, the first experience(s) of intense sexual desire may prove overwhelming, even for the most virtuous girls of the world, even more so if they are totally unprepared for that possibility, or the only possible cause of the experience is believed to be "love." This sudden onset of intense sexual desire or love has a very good chance of resulting in sexual intercourse and pregnancy, because as in the related experiences, birth control and safe sex are likely the furthest thing from her/their mind at the time. We must also acknowledge the reality that an individual or couple may not experience this overwhelmingly intense sexual desire until they are already engaged in a sexual activity, or in intimate proximity. Sexual desire may be so debilitating for men AND women that it leaves them capable of nothing more than reproducing, penile-vaginal intercourse. Certainly a sobering prospect, and one human ego and society is perhaps unwilling to acknowledge, because it would require us to acknowledge the presence of animalistic desires.

Perhaps one of the major barriers parents face when helping their daughters prevent unplanned sex and conception is the denial of their sexual desire. We are big on lecturing her about bras, periods, and "what boys really want," but not the reality that some day her body will send her chasing after a reproductive mate; the same likely occurs with lesbian teens, even if pregnancy isn't a potential outcome. During adolescence there is seldom discussion of "what girls really want," which contrary to public expectation isn't limited to platonic love. While the presence of developing breasts may attract the attention of boys and men, the presence of pubic hair potentially indicates she is equally motivated to meet them half-way, regardless of age; as mentioned above, thousands of girls age 14 and under become pregnant each year in the U.S. alone. Society and parents need to acknowledge "what girls really want," and prepare adolescent girls for that reality. Parents and society also need to acknowledge the fact that they can't rely on girls to enforce abstinence or responsible sexual behavior to a greater degree than they do boys, and boys and girls are equally likely to be overwhelmed by sexual desire.

Must Sex Equal Sex?

As of late, technical virginity, if not sexual abstinence, is presumed to be in vogue among teens and young adults, or at least that is the expectation of their parents and older generations. Teens wishing to avoid pregnancy are presumed to see a benefit to technical virginity and abstinence. The social pressure to remain a virgin is expected to result, at least for girls, in teens engaging in non-coital sexual activities for a period of time prior to engaging in vaginal intercourse. Even then, virgin girls are believed to permit sexual activity only so as not to appear prudish, and to prevent their partner from seeking out a relationship with someone else*. While this may be the social presumption and expectation, the reality is otherwise.

“Slightly more than half (55%) of 15–19-year-olds have engaged in heterosexual oral sex, 50% have engaged in vaginal sex and 11% have had anal sex, according to a new Guttmacher Institute study. However, both oral and anal sex are much more common among teens who have already had vaginal intercourse than among those who have not, suggesting that teens initiate a range of sexual activities around the same time, rather than substitute one for another.

There is a widespread belief that teens engage in nonvaginal forms of sex, especially oral sex, as a way to be sexually active while still claiming that technically, they are virgins,” says study author Laura Lindberg. “However, our research shows that this supposed substitution of oral sex for vaginal sex is largely a myth. There is no good evidence that teens who have not had intercourse engage in oral sex with a series of partners.

Some teens may first experience oral sex immediately prior to vaginal intercourse, while others may initiate vaginal intercourse shortly before having oral sex. While only one in four teen virgins (26%) have engaged in oral sex, once teens have had vaginal intercourse, the proportion increases incrementally. By six months after first vaginal sex, more than four out of five adolescents (81%) have also engaged in oral sex, and by three years after first intercourse, nine in 10 (92%) have done so.” Source

"Among technical virgins—teens who have never had vaginal sex—23 percent have had oral sex." Source

I must admit, I have held the false presumption that teenagers and young adults engage in "foreplay" as a means of delaying their first experience of vaginal intercourse. Foreplay, in all its various forms, is suppose to allow them to express their sexual interest and desire without the risk of unwanted pregnancy. The reality is, even if they do use foreplay as a means of postponing intercourse, it doesn't appear to do so for long. Perhaps, as eluded to above, because once sexual interaction has begun, and sexual desire and arousal are experienced, the word "no" is much less appealing to both men and women. Of course, calling it "fore-play" probably doesn't help matters at all, as it implies the activity is meant to lead to something else, sex.

Source CDC

The graphs presented above indicate that at the age of 15, boys are nearly twice as likely to be engaging in vaginal intercourse than only oral sex, and girls are more than three times as likely to be doing the same. I would presume this means, some girls are performing oral sex on more than one boy, and once girls begin engaging in partnered sex, intercourse is soon to follow. Girls under the age of 20 are also more likely to be engaging in vaginal intercourse than boys their own age; perhaps indicating their partners are older and/or boys who have engaged in vaginal intercourse are more likely to have done so with more than one partner. If there is a period of time during which oral sex and other forms of foreplay are more common than vaginal intercourse, it is prior to the age of 15, but this occurrence seems very unlikely.

The evidence is that we, young and old, still consider "sex" to be penile-vaginal intercourse, and well, everything else is not sex. During the 1990s, the Lewinsky scandal revealed that most college students didn't consider oral sex to be "sex," and in 2003 this was still true amongst at least one high school population. Oral sex may not be considered "sex" by teens because if it were, you couldn't claim to be a virgin after participating in the activity, which would limit the sexual options available to virgins.

In the past, oral sex was considered a form of sodomy, hence was illegal in many areas, and as a result was not socially condoned. Legally, penile-vaginal intercourse was the only form of sex many if not most American couples could engage in. This prior morality is still very evident in our society today; foreplay is acceptable, but engaging in intercourse is still a significant measure of adulthood. This morality obviously creates a challenge when trying to prevent unplanned pregnancies and transmission of STD's.

How do we prevent the undesired consequences if we insist on engaging in the very activity that creates that risk? Are we a society of risk takers? Is society the cause, or biology? Based on the evidence presented above, despite changing social morality, biology always seems to be a major influence, at least that is my hypothesis. Society also appears to be reluctant to allow us to acknowledge why we may accept these risks, but then condemns the consequences of accepting those risks. Yes, society delays sexual activity to some extent, but the final conclusion is always the same. I'm not suggesting we throw in the towel, but we, especially teens and young adults, should be fully aware of all the forces at play in their decisions and actions. This knowledge "may" prepare them for making better choices, as forcing their heads into the sand, i.e. censoring their knowledge, surely hasn't worked.

* In practice this has come to mean, either be the sexual woman or lose your partner to a sexual woman, which puts pressure on all young women to engage in partnered sex

Pregnancy Rates for Different
Birth Control Methods

Another unfortunate reality is, birth control isn't as effective in use as the advertising often implies. Lets face it, teens and young adults probably don't have a lot of experience using birth control, probably never had someone demonstrate the correct use, and in the case of birth control pills, a girl's family and peers probably aren't working together to ensure she takes it at the appropriate time each day, though perhaps they should. And as strange as it made sound, there is no one ensuring couples are using birth control correctly during sex, even though they are usually supervised quite closely when first demonstrating non-sexual skills. You have to have demonstrate proficiency to drive a car, but not to have partnered sex and potentially produce a baby. Now add in raging hormones, peer and social pressures, the possibility for drugs and alcohol use, and we have a very hazardous combination.

The following information is from the FDA website [referenced webpage has been removed from FDA website].

For One Year of Use

The following table provides estimates of the percent of women likely to become pregnant while using a particular contraceptive method for one year. These estimates are based on a variety of studies.

"Typical Use" rates mean that the method either was not always used correctly or was not used with every act of sexual intercourse (e.g., sometimes forgot to take a birth control pill as directed and became pregnant), or was used correctly but failed anyway.

"Lowest Expected" rates mean that the method was always used correctly with every act of sexual intercourse but failed anyway (e.g., always took a birth control pill as directed but still became pregnant).

 

Method	Typical Use Rate of Pregnancy	Lowest Expected Rate of Pregnancy	Number of Pregnancies Per 100 Couples
Sterilization:
Male Sterilization	0.15%	0.1%	<< 1
Female Sterilization	0.5%	0.5%	<< 1
Hormonal Methods:
Implant (Norplant)	0.09%	0.09%	<< 1
Hormone Shot (Depo-Provera)	0.3%	0.3%	<< 1
Combined Pill (Estrogen/Progestin)	5%	0.1%	5
Minipill (Progestin only)	5%	0.5%	5
Intrauterine Devices (IUDs):
Copper T	0.8%	0.6%	< 1
Progesterone T	2%	1.5%	2
Barrier Methods:
Male Latex Condom1	14%	3%	14
Diaphragm2	20%	6%	20
Vaginal Sponge (no previous births)3	20%	9%	20
Vaginal Sponge (previous births)3	40%	20%	40
Cervical Cap (no previous births)2	20%	9%	20
Cervical Cap (previous births)2	40%	26%	40
Female Condom	21%	5%	21
Spermicide:
Gel, Foam, Suppository, Film	26%	6%	26
Natural Methods:
Withdrawal	19%	4%	19
Natural Family Planning (calendar, temperature, cervical mucus)	25%	1-9%	25
No Method:	85%	85%	85

1 Used Without Spermicide
2 Used With Spermicide
3 Contains Spermicide

Data adapted from: R. A. Hatcher, J. Trussell, F. Stewart, et al., Contraceptive Technology, 17th Revised edition, New York, NY: Irvington Publishers Inc. (in press).

Table prepared by FDA: 5/13/97

 

Sex With Decreased Risk of Pregnancy

Here is a website that presents the basic principles I will eventually address in greater detail.

Feminist Women's Health Center: Sex With Less Risk of Pregnancy

Personal and Social Risks

Women are likely aware of these risks as an innate component of their personal identity, and while they may not have physical properties, they often have physical implications. These risks manifest themselves in terms of peer approval, labeling, reproductive responsibility (consequences of conception), and social marginalization. Traditionally, and to varying degrees today, women are not permitted to be sexual, so there were and are negative consequences to being a sexual woman. Even if women are permitted to be sexual, they are often left to address the consequences of their sexuality alone, and indeed in this manner their sexuality can serve to isolate them from their partner, family, friends, peers, and community. Perhaps the most common demonstration of this fact is the way women are treated when confronted with a teenage pregnancy or a pregnancy outside of marriage.

Information About Birth Control
& Contraceptives

Birth Control Comparisons

FDA: Birth Control Guide (PDF File)

FDA: Birth Control

Planned Parenthood: Birth Control

Avert.org: Birth Control & Contraception for Teenagers

Medline Plus: Birth Control

Wikipedia: Birth Control

FamilyDoctor.org: Birth Control Options

MedicineNet.com: Birth Control

WebMed.com: Birth Control Overview

KidsHealth.org: About Birth Control What You Need to Know

WomensHealth.gov: Birth Control Methods FAQ

HealthyWomen.org: Birth control pills and their advantages disadvantages and side effects

Ann Rose's Ultimate Birth Control Links

 

Information About Sexually
Transmitted Infections

CDC: Sexually Transmitted Infections

NIAID: Sexually Transmitted Infections

Planned Parenthood: Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) & Safer Sex

Wikipedia: Sexually transmitted disease

Medline Plus: Sexually Transmitted Diseases

MedicineNet.com: Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) In Women

FamilyDoctor.org: STIs: Common Symptoms & Tips on Prevention

WomensHealth.gov: Sexually Transmitted Diseases: Overview

eMedicineHealth.com: Sexually Transmitted Diseases

asha: Learn About STIs/STDs

Avert.org: Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)

References:

1 Sexually transmitted diseases among American youth: incidence and prevalence estimates, 2000.
Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health 2004;36(1):6-10.

Weinstock H, Berman S, Cates, Jr., W.

Abstract
CONTEXT: In the United States, young people aged 15-24 represent 25% of the sexually experienced population. However, the incidence and prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) among this age-group are unknown.

METHODS: Data from a variety of sources were used to estimate the incidence and prevalence of STDs among 15-24-year-olds in the United States in 2000. The quality and reliability of the estimates were categorized as good, fair or poor, depending on the quality of the data source.

RESULTS: Approximately 18.9 million new cases of STD occurred in 2000, of which 9.1 million (48%) were among persons aged 15-24. Three STDs (human papillomavirus, trichomoniasis and chlamydia) accounted for 88% of all new cases of STD among 15-24-year-olds.

CONCLUSIONS: These estimates emphasize the toll that STDs have on American youth. More representative data are needed to help monitor efforts at lowering the burden of these infections.

2 Appendix M - Data on nonmaritial birth to adults and teenagers and federal strategies to reduce nonmarital pregnancies. Source

3 Intimate Matters: A History of Sexuality in America by John D'Emilio, Estelle B. Freedman 1988

4 "Prenuptial pregnancy rates varied by region and over time. The high rates of up to thirty percent of all brides for the mid-seventeenth-century Chesapeake declined in the eighteenth century, while the low ten-percent rate of early New England rose significantly during the same period. There is little data for the middle colonies, but in one eighteenth-century community, Germantown, Pennsylvania, one-fourth of all first births occurred under nine months after marriage, a pattern that reflected in part the premarital pregnancy rates in the settlers' German homeland." Intimate Matters: A History of Sexuality in America by John D'Emilio, Estelle B. Freedman 1988 Pg. 23