Aerobic Orgasm Exercise: Learning to Orgasm

The following exercise is appropriate for all women, not only those who are preorgasmic or experiencing anorgasmia.

When learning how to experience orgasm it is commonly recommended for women to find a quiet place to relax before concentrating on mental and physical sexual stimulation, but is this always the best advice?

From an email:

"My boyfriend uses his fingers and tongue and also touches me through my clothes, all are pleasurable but I get to a point where it all becomes too sensitive and I have to get him to stop."

From a medical article by Dr. Cindy Meston:

"An increase in sympathetic nervous system activation via exercise or ephedrine facilitated the early stages of sexual arousal in sexually functional [orgasmic] women as well as those with low sexual desire."

Note: This study found evidence that suggests preorgasmic women do not experience the same increase in sexual arousal following exercise as orgasmic women, but the study did not address whether exercise would help women learn how to experience orgasm, if exercise impaired their ability to experience sexual arousal, or if repeated experiences may have a positive influence on their sexual response. The study only indicates there is a difference in how orgasmic and preorgasmic women's bodies respond to exercise and subsequent visual sexual stimulation, within the scenario defined by the experiments. The study did not explain why this occurred. Perhaps the preorgasmic women were less sexually responsive in this test environment than they would have been in private, without sensors inside their vagina, as a result of social and personal inhibition that may prevent them from experiencing orgasm. The following two quotes suggest vigorous movement and muscular tension are a normal part of masturbation and orgasm, which would tend to indicate it isn't necessarily normal to lay perfectly still and relaxed when learning how to experience orgasm. If this is true, exercise and dance may facilitate arousal and orgasm.

From Mentor in Masturbation by Morgan King:

"...my daughter was my mentor in masturbation. When she was about 2 years old she found her clitoris and began loving it. One might conjure up the visual of the soft timid exploration of an innocent child curious now that she wasn't bound by a diaper all the time. Not my daughter. We're talking a full-on, sweaty, flushed, moaning orgasm. She especially loved to please herself while watching TV in the living room in front of guests. Diligently placing her favorite stuffed animal under her hips, squished between her chubby legs, she rocked and grinded and made preternatural noises to an unmistakable ecstasy-ridden crescendo."

From a shared masturbation technique:

"I started when I was 3, it started with me humping the armrest of the sofa and I loved it, I also humped chairs, beds, and bottles."

The article about outercourse provides additional information on how girls may learn how to masturbate, as a result of pressure and rhythmic motion. Keep in mind these young girls have no concept of orgasm, their first orgasm occurs totally by chance and without expectation. Teens and women typically have preconceived expectations of orgasm, which may not be realistic. During this activity, the focus should be on exercise or dance, not sexual arousal and orgasm. Ideally, women should be surprised by their resulting arousal, and orgasm should occur by chance, not expectation.

If you are overwhelmed by sexual stimulation and find yourself experiencing a barrier to orgasm, is it best to make this the primary or only form of stimulation you experience? Should you focus on sex if you are sexually inhibited? If orgasm involves the release of muscular tension is it best to remain totally relaxed? If you have trouble focusing on sexual thoughts and images should you try and force yourself too? Is it normal to be relatively motionless during sex? If your body is commanding you to move should you restrain yourself? Is sex in the wild devoid of movement, tension, and excitement? Based on these factors, is the common advice always the best advice?

What two activities incorporate many of the normal body movements associated with sexual activity? What activity has been banned by some religious organizations for being too sexually suggestive, and may closely resemble sexual intercourse? What are two physical activities men enjoy watching women perform? The answer, dance and exercise, especially when the hips move rhythmically. Obviously, the two girls described above utilized rhythmic motion in their masturbation activities, and more than likely during the process of learning how to experience orgasm.

The following videos demonstrate dance and exercise that incorporate rhythmic pelvic motion. You don't need to be as skillful as these women, I'm only trying to illustrate the need for movement, energy, and fun.

Choose An Exercise or Dance Technique:

The exercise or dance method you chose to participate in during this activity probably isn't critical to achieving a positive outcome. It only needs to get your body moving and breathing, and your brain focusing on more than just sex and sexual stimulation. You want to be multitasking, rather than focusing on one activity or sensation. This means everything from walking, jogging, aerobics, climbing stairs, shaking your booty, dancing in your bedroom, to hula dancing will achieve the desired result. What you choose to do will depend on your general level of health and fitness. Choose an activity you feel comfortable doing. If you aren't sure what is safe for you, please consult your doctor beforehand.

Caution: Orgasm can be momentarily incapacitating, resulting in an inability to control your muscles, specifically your legs. Some women find they have to sit down or lean against a solid structure when they experience orgasm. The environment and activity you chose should allow you to sit or kneel down immediately, or use your arms for support, should you experience orgasm. Initially, you may want to engage in this exercise while laying or sitting down. You don't want to be operating a motorized vehicle, riding a bicycle, or standing on something that you may fall down from. Dance next to a chair or bed, use an exercise machine with handrails, climb stairs that have handrails, etc. Have fun and experiment, but please keep it safe.

Given you desire to achieve a sexual outcome you may believe the privacy of your home or bedroom is the best place to engaging in this activity, but in reality it may be walking or jogging through your local park, dancing wildly in a crowed dance club, or using a stair climber at your local gym. If anything, you want the resulting hormonal and chemical changes associated with doing it in public to potentially enhance your physical and psychological sexual experience. A little fear may actually work to your benefit, especially if it gets your endorphins flowing. While increasing sexual arousal may cause you to stop an activity mid-step when home alone, are you as likely to suddenly stop when others are watching, or try to look "normal" despite what is happening inside your body? I've witnessed women masturbating in public, and many admit to doing this, so it isn't like you would be the first.

The duration of the dancing or exercise will depend on your level of health and physical fitness. Generally speaking, twenty minutes should suffice, though you may have to work up to this. The duration may increase as your level of fitness increases, as the level of arousal you desire increases, or as your arousal threshold increases. You want to become at least a little sweaty, but if walking accomplishes this, more vigorous exercise isn't required. If you can incorporate it into an existing physical activity, go for it.

The full duration of the activity must include the period of exercise or dance plus a cool down period of perhaps 20-30 minutes, during which you relax, walk, or shake your booty slowly and suggestively. This means you should set aside 30-60 minutes for each exercise period. This isn't to say shorter sessions wont be of benefit. Repetition may help you feel more comfortable and relaxed with the idea of the activity, even if the activity itself isn't physically challenging. As they commonly say, practice makes perfect.

Dance music will likely be an integral part of the experience, as rhythmic movement is desired. You can listen to your mp3 player, stereo, or the music being played at your local dance club or gym, or watch a stimulating activity on your computer or television. Listening to your local radio station probably wont work, unless they play continuous 30 minute commercial free music sets. You want the tempo of the music to match your level of physical activity. Lip-syncing, playing Guitar Hero, or singing along out loud are a good idea, as it will help ensure you aren't holding your breath. Your muscles need oxygen, including your pelvic muscles, which are responsible for producing the muscular contractions of orgasm.

Your manner of dress should be appropriate for the activity you participate in, the selected location, and being fully or partially undressed isn't necessary, and the reason why will become evident shortly.

Incorporating Sexual Stimulation into Your Exercise or Dance Routine:

You may be thinking to yourself that you have engaged in the activities described above numerous times without ever experiencing sexual arousal, let alone orgasm, and may be wondering the point of the exercise and dance. The truth is, without added physical, and perhaps mental, sexual stimulation you probably will not experience arousal or orgasm. Now you may be wondering how on earth you can experience sexual stimulation while exercising or dancing when fully clothed, especially in public. The answer is, by using a battery powered vibrator, a very small one.

This exercise requires the use of a vibrator to provide clitoral stimulation while you exercise, dance, and perhaps while you relax afterwards. The necessary vibrator is very small, and can be very inexpensive, purchased for less than $5.00. They may even be available in your local mall novelty store, like Spencer's. The vibrator should be nestled against or near your clitoris, and provide the necessary physical sexual stimulation to experience sexual arousal, and potentially orgasm. If necessary, you can decrease the amount of stimulation by wrapping the vibrator in a soft cloth.

The best vibrator would be one that fits into a panty specifically designed for the purpose, and has a remote control. You want a vibrating panty or thong, similar to those shown below, though these tend to be much more expensive than the $5.00 mentioned above. They should fit comfortably, and be suitable for your given activity. (Clicking on an image will take you to that item in our adult store.)



What will also work, cost much less, but require you to devise a way of holding the vibrator in place, are items like those shown below. These wireless bullet vibrators would perhaps work best, as there is no wires to deal with. Sewing or safety pinning a sport sock or similar item to your underwear may create a pouch to hold the vibrator in place. You can also sew together two pairs of briefs or thongs, creating a small pocket for the vibrator, in the area of your clitoris. You may have to experiment to determine the best location for the vibrator.



The least expensive vibrator to use may be a vibrating bullet or egg that has an attached battery pack, like those shown below. They may not work in public, because of the associated power cord and battery pack, but you may be able to sneak the cord into your pocket if you wear a long lose fitting blouse.



Eventually you may want to try stimulating more than one erogenous zone at the same time, using a vibrator like those shown below. One vibrator can be positioned against your clitoris, the other inside your vagina or anus. Items inserted into your anus should probably be encased in a condom, a sandwich bag, or plastic wrap, ensuring enough of the condom or plastic remains outside your rectum so that you may retrieve it.



Something you may already have in your home, or that is readily available at a local store, is an electric toothbrush. While not necessarily appropriate for many forms of exercise and dance, it may be adapted to some, at least at home. Removing the brush and using the body as a vibrator may allow it to fit comfortably against your vulva.

An electric vibrator would eliminate the need for batteries, and a rechargeable model would be the most convenient, especially if you find yourself repeating the exercise on a regular basis. If you are wanting to rub against something while you dance or exercise, then an electric wand vibrator placed under a towel or on a pillow may provide the necessary stimulation. Holding or taping the vibrator to a metal pole that you then rub your vulva against may also work. Please don't apply too much pressure with your body, as you don't want to crush your clitoris, potentially causing decreased sensitivity for a period of time afterward. You may be able to secure the vibrator to a chair or another piece of furniture with shipping tape, positioning it at the elevation of your vulva. You may also be able to hold one in place, over your cloths, while dancing or exercising at home.

Combing the Physical Activity with the Sexual Stimulation:

This is very much a free form activity with no set guidelines and rules. Ideally, you exercise or dance until you are comfortably warmed up and your heart rate is elevated at least a little, but not so much you are gasping for breath. You then turn on the vibrator and continue the activity, preferably with little or no interruption. Allow things to occur naturally, don't try to force anything. Either arousal and orgasm occur or they don't. If you use a wireless bullet vibrator you may have to turn it on before you begin the exercise. Having a remotely controlled vibrator would be ideal, as it would be easier to turn on and off with ease. In public, you may have to make a quick bathroom break to turn the vibrator on, or if jogging or walking through your local park, stop at a bathroom midway through the session.

The main thing is, the vibrations should be doing all the work, hands free. You can explore light pressure if you like, keeping in mind your erogenous zones probably aren't as sensitive to pressure as they are rhythmic friction and vibration. If your vulva and clitoris aren't sensitive to the vibrations, either the vibrator isn't powerful enough, it isn't positioned correctly against your clitoris, you aren't sexually aroused yet, or you experience impaired sensitivity, perhaps as a result of trauma to your vulva or insufficient hormone levels.

You may want to experiment with shorts or jeans that fit snuggly in the area of your vulva. Some women rave about jeans with a tight inseam, so you may want to experiment with this, along with the vibrator. A thong may conform closer to your vulva than briefs.

You may need to experiment with lubricating your vulva beforehand, as lubricated tissues move about more easily, and reduces the chance for irritation. Since there is no need to use a condom to prevent conception, you can use olive or vegetable oil as a lubricant.

Don't over do it, as you will be less inclined to repeat the activity if you are exhausted or sore afterwards. If your exercise session is over, say after 15-20 minutes, then cool down and relax, while still allowing the vibrator to stimulate you. Walk, sit, lay down, straddle a pillow, whatever helps you feel good, and relaxed. If your vibrator is battery powered and waterproof, you might even jump in the shower with it and your underwear in place. The cool down should last at least twenty minutes, time enough for the potential peak in your post exercise sexual responsiveness to occur. Relax have fun, don't "masturbate," just allow things to happen, or not happen. It may take repetition before you notice sexual feelings, or increased sexual feelings. Please don't expect instantaneous results from this activity.

You may also want to experiment with turning the vibrator on after your period of physical activity. Experiment with doing it immediately after, and then after waiting 5 to 20 minutes. Relax during this time. If you start experiencing pleasant sensations, don't get greedy, it isn't unusual for it to take 30-60 minutes for women to experience orgasm, and their level arousal must be allowed to slowly increase over this extended period. The mainstream media greatly exaggerates how quickly orgasm occurs for the typical woman.

Incorporating Kegel exercises into your routine is likely a good idea, as it will help generate muscular tension, help you focus on your pelvic area, and strong pelvic muscles produce stronger orgasms. Strong flexible pelvic muscles are essential, as if they are too relaxed then your orgasms may be weak, or if too tense, incapable of rhythmic contraction. It has come to my attention that Kegel exercises were never intended to be performed with an empty vagina, without something for the pelvic muscles to grasp, and the items mentioned below may fulfill this requirement.

Incorporating Additional Erogenous Zones:

Some women desire or require more than one erogenous zone be stimulated at the same time, if they are to experience orgasm. Many also experience a vaginal ache when they become sexually aroused, which compels them to seek out vaginal penetration. Vaginal stimulation can be provided by inserting Duotone Balls or similar items into the vagina prior to your physical activity, under the clitoral vibrator. You can also insert small balls of appropriate size, encased in a condom or a plastic sandwich bag, into your vagina; the condom acts as a retrieval string.



Some may want to incorporate nipple stimulation, and this many only be possible at home, and accomplished with your fingers and hands, or clothpins if you are wanting more intense stimulation. Devices that suck on or pinch the nipples may also be appropriate, at home. I'm not aware of anything small and discrete enough to be worn under a bra. Nipple stimulation, as well as internal vaginal and anal stimulation may stimulate oxytocin production, which may help facilitate orgasm.

Anal stimulation may also be desirable and pleasurable, though it may be challenging to find a butt plug that is appropriately sized and shaped for your specific physical activity. If you are doing pelvic thrusts and similar aerobic exercises at home, then anal stimulation will likely be easier to incorporate than say at a dance club; though you wouldn't be the first to do so. You would want to be careful not to irritate your anus, or have the plug slip out at an inopportune moment. Internal anal stimulation may also work, but only if you insert an object having an appropriate removal string or handle.

With a Partner:

This exercise can be incorporated into partnered activities. A woman's partner can exercise or dance along with her, providing support, emotional and possibly physical. They can also engage in dirty dancing, with a vibrator positioned against her vulva. The woman's partner can control the vibrations, especially if she tends to feel overwhelmed and turns the vibrator off moments too soon; this should amount to gentle teasing, not force. In some cases, the woman's partner only needs to watch and be supportive of her actions and experiences. The activity should always remain focused on the woman and her needs, not her partner and their needs, and it may be up to the partner to ensure this is true, as women tend to put the needs of their partner before their own.

Closing Comments:

In closing, I would like to say this activity is primarily meant to be fun and ultimately relaxing. Prior to learning about orgasm, young girls masturbate simply because it feels pleasurable, and may help them relax and fall asleep. Teens and adults shouldn't expect more of this activity. If while performing this activity you suddenly realize you are sexually aroused and experiencing sexual pleasure, wonderful, lose yourself in that pleasure, don't start counting orgasms. If you hit a wall or feel overwhelmed, dance or exercise your way through it, rather than pulling away. The more intense the sensations, the more intense your movements should become. Make some noise, sing, grunt, yell, just don't stop. Remember, an orgasm isn't going to harm you, it is a completely normal bodily function. But whatever you do, make sure you are having fun, or at least improving your mental and physical health through exercise and dance.